If you want to be a more effective communicator, keep your conversations focused on these three elements --

HERE

NOW

US

Conversations containing the opposites of the above elements --

THERE

THEN

THEM

-- will lead to ineffective communication.

For instance in a meeting of managers,

Ineffective: "They (the testers) didn't test the application properly so it crashes."

Ineffective. "They (the developers) didn't create the application properly so it crashes."

Effective: "We (the other managers and you) didn't manage the developers and testers effectively so users are experiencing crashes."

Talk about here, now, and us. Those conversational elements create an above the table conversation. Their opposites create a below the table conversation.

©2007 Steven M Smith 

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