In my first entry about the word "we," I argued using the words "We decided to..." often create ambiguity. I suggested asking yourself several questions to reduce ambiguity either when you hear those words or when you are about to say them.

In this entry, I will lay out the case for when using the words "We decided to..." is completely appropriate and the use of other words is inappropriate.

Is chaos like a wild horse?

Inhumane horse trainers (managers) see a rebellious animal who must adjust to a new environment. They transform the horse through a process they call "breaking." They break the will of the horse so it submits to the will of the human. Their methods may include:

• Saddling and riding the horse until its will is broken
• Tying the saddled horse to a tree until it ceases to struggle
• Drowning the horse until it submits
  

Robert, a project manager, told me he uses the weekly project status meeting as a bully pulpit to shame any member of the team who didn't satisfy their task deadlines. I've seen him in action -- his face becomes grotesque as he verbally assaults his teammates.

I believe it's wrong for Rob or anyone else to attempt to shame another person. But it's also wrong for a teammate NOT to satisfy a task deadline.

Is it shameful not to meet a deadline?

You and Jeff are members of a project team. You've know Jeff for years. You like and respect him. He is new to the team. In what looks to you like an effort to prove his value to the other members of the team he has taken on too many tasks. He isn't completing his high-priority tasks on schedule. And he keeps taking on new tasks.

What do you do?

You have heard of the fog of war. But have you heard of a BOGSAT -- Big Official Group Sitting Around Talking? It's a disease that infects organizations.

Let me share with you a story about a BOGSAT intervention.

How many times do you complete a task that you don't believe in just so that you can tell your manager it's complete? 

Do some members of your team make agreements during meetings but fail to support them afterwards?

If this behavior is happening, I suspect your team is using an obscure process to make decisions.

Someone asks that information be hidden from a co-worker. This article offers one approach for dealing with that situation.

I am fortunate to have worked on a team led by Anne Cawley early in my career. Experience working with her enabled me to know, rather than speculate, about the power of an effective manager.

What elements of her management style made her effective?

The answer is "X has gone dark". The question is "What frustrates me?". I don't like feeling frustrated.